#52ancestors Week 4 – Like to Meet

I didn’t have to think too hard about this one or go too far back in my family tree. The person I would most like to meet would be my maternal aunt Jayne Nichols. Jayne has always been openly talked about by my mother, who was close to her sister. As they were just 12 months apart from each other, they were each others frequent playmates as young children. As a child, I was particularly curious as one of my middle names is Jayne in memory of my aunt.

Jayne as a baby in the 1960s

Luckily for me, my mother was very forthcoming in telling stories of her childhood which featured her sister and i delighted in hearing them. My grandmother, on the other hand, didn’t like to talk about it. I don’t remember if I was warned not to ask her about Jayne as it would make her sad but I also don’t remember ever having a conversation with her about Jayne. never met Jayne because she died some years before I was even though of, let alone born.

As a child I knew that she had been very sick for some time before she died and remember feeling sad for her, an aunt that I never knew. As I got older, I learnt more details about her illness. As a young girl, aged about 12-13, Jayne suffered from acute Nephritis which is essentially the inflammation of the part of the kidneys that fosters the blood. The local newspapers ran articles on her, relating how sick she was and the many weeks she spent in hospital. Presumably, she got somewhat better as she was sent home and life went on as normal for a few more years.

However, as she got older she got sicker again and she was finally diagnosed with kidney failure. She was on dialysis for some years, whilst being on a transplant list. However, all the sickness and time in hospitals obviously got to her eventually as she refused any further treatment which eventually led to her death. For me as an adult now, it is sad to think about all the pain she went through not just from her illness itself but also from the constant treatment. In recent years, I myself suffered from ill health and was in and out of hospital with tubes hanging out of my arm and my hard won independence was gone for a brief moment. It gave me a new appreciation of what my aunt would have gone through, but for a much longer period.

Jayne and Wendy Nichols

In my grandmother’s later years, Jayne was talked about more and more. Particularly once dementia took hold and she was less and less aware of her surroundings. I was a teenager at the time, and we visited my grandmother every day wherever possible. I had always been told I looked like Jayne but I could never see it. However, my grandmother obviously did see it enough to mistake me for her. I vividly remember visiting her and her instantly being cheered by the sight of me, calling me “Jayne” and thinking her lost daughter had come back to her.

My mother has told me what she can remember about her sister and her illness, but as she was also a child/teenager at the time she doesn’t remember a lot and wasn’t involved in many conversations for visiting the hospital. If I could meet Jayne, I would like to hear her experience and how she felt as a young woman becoming so ill and having any independence or hope of a future taken away from her. I know from my mother that she had dreams of being a nurse,

and so she was allowed to complete Year 12 at High School but that was not to be. It’s my opinion that the long illness she suffered and the constant trips to hospital for treatment made Jayne depressed, so depressed that she felt she could go on no longer.

Jayne aged 20 years.

 

One thought on “#52ancestors Week 4 – Like to Meet

  1. Samantha – I can see how lovely it would be for you to meet your Aunt Jayne. She was dealt a bad hand – having to suffer like that. She looks so young at 20 years. RIP Jayne

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